"I felt like if I could possibly do that, then it would show Mia that she could do the same," Land told NPR. Were there any moments from the Maid book that you felt the series didn't highlight? The homeless shelter that Land and her daughter lived in for a short period of time came with a four-page list of rules, including no visitors. Though we do get a quick flash of a sign of rules for transitional housing, these kinds of regulations for being low income are not covered in Maid. [7], In her late twenties, she lived in Port Townsend, Washington, where she had her first child and became a single mother who worked maid service jobs to support her family. -NPR, Yes. Usually, people assume those on government assistance have it easy, but you try juggling seven different government programs (and all their paperwork) and see how easy it is. The thing is, most of the people on safety net programs are working already and they're working two to three jobs just to feed their families. Land has remarried and lives with her husband, Tim Faust,. But if you're not making it, then [people] think you're just not working hard enough. Yes. "I was embarrassed. Our protagonist onscreen in Maid seems to be a lone wolf, with virtually no friends and barely any family. Guests also had to maintain a clean house, something that Land was used to doing given her line of work at the time. What if Andie stayed with Duckie at the prom in Pretty in Pink, and didnt go out into the parking lot to chase Blaine?, What if Johnny didnt come back to do the final dance number of the summer in Dirty Dancing, and the end scenes were him opening a dance studio and Baby joining the Peace Corps?, Mia, whos 11, and by now accustomed to these types of outbursts, chewed her cheese quesadilla, then said: But it wouldnt be a story if it ended like that., What do you mean, like it wouldnt be complete?, Yeah, Mia said. What do you think people misunderstand about the nature of poverty? Timothy Faust is a professional Air Force Veteran. Though I wouldnt admit it then, I knew Id chosen a path filled with emotional landmines. It reminded me that there had been a newspaper article featuring my husbands mugshot, and that image showed up several times in my Facebook feed as people shared it online. But I dole out lessons in empathy as much as I can, [which is] not only my biggest challenge but my goal in being a parent. [1][2][3] She is best known for writing Maid: Hard Work, Low Pay and a Mother's Will to Survive (2019), which was adapted to television miniseries Maid (2021) for Netflix. She documents her home life across her social media accounts. Dream-like flashbacks of happier times with one another show Alex and Sean looking years younger, talking about dreams of college and traveling whereas the reality was far from what most people would call a long-term relationship. Your IP: Represented by: Mollie Glick @ Creative Arts Agency Hannah Scott @ Lyceum Agency linktr.ee/stepville Posts Reels Videos Tagged The action you just performed triggered the security solution. Meanwhile, in the series, Paula Alexs mother, played by Qualleys real-life mom, Andie MacDowell is a constant, but unreliable, presence in her daughter and grandchilds lives. I spent 2 years cleaning houses. In a 2021 interview with The Washington Post, Land said:[32]. She reaches up to dig her hand into my armpit, and I let her, because its something shes done practically since birth. "They offered to fictionalize the story and I really appreciate that because my story is tightly focused on me." Before the Netflix series premiered, Land posted a long message on Instagram about her feelings about the release and the creative process. The gritty and intense series, starring Margaret Qualley, follows newly single mother Alex and her daughter, Maddie, as they recover from the trauma of abuse and neglect. She seems to live in a constant state of hustle-and-bustle, meeting people through work and assistance programs. I had known Jamie only four months, and his rage, his hatred toward me, was frightening." Theending ofMaid (opens in new tab)shows Land's fictional avatar Alex moving to Missoula, Montana, to study creative writing in college. In Alexs world, she isnt harassed every time she uses her EBT card (electronic benefit transfer card for SNAP/food stamps) at the grocery store; she isnt told, youre welcome by her closest friends when she confides in them about government assistant programs. I just constantly felt like someone was watching me, like, if I sat down and wasn't working for a few minutes, I felt like suddenly I had lost value as a human being because so much of my value and dignity was wrapped up in how many hours I could work. She felt like her friends did not want to hear about the struggles of her life over and over, and she isolated herself from her closest companions. The first line of Maid, Stephanie Land's remarkable 2019 memoir about working as a maid during her impoverished early years as a single mother, reads: "My daughter learned to walk in a homeless. Netflix's latest hit drama, Maid, has become a favorite among fans for its candid and watchable depiction of a mother fighting to take care of her daughter.Based on Stephanie Land's 2019 memoir . Together they have four children. John, Molly, and Erin have spent so much time getting to know me and Story, and truly care about usalmost how I imagine family members would.. I of course wanted them to be smart and to read and write, but they kind of do that on their own. was ian petrella in back to the future. 2023 BDG Media, Inc. All rights reserved. And its because they took a true interest in learning, and used their own experiences, to truly understand how it feels to be food, work, and housing insecure," she wrote. For a couple of months, she woke up at night, crying and confused, wondering why her mom and stepdad werent there at the same time any more. Through the last few months I have been questioning why I fought so hard to keep our life, on the outside, as normal as possible. Stephanie Land is the author of Maid: Hard Work, Low Pay, and a Mothers Will to Survive, out in January 2019, Theres love, youll say, but is there any real point in getting married these days? This helped her and her daughter save up, get their car fixed, and move to Missoula, Montana for good. It's also because we assign dignity to the type of jobs people do. But while Land called the police and had him arrested, she chose to stay quiet about her abuse for a long time. I no longer talked to close friends about the emotional abuse that went on at home, since admission would require action, so I didnt really talk to anyone. pic.twitter.com/UIwwR0Mf5L / Twitter" Let us know below! And she worked as a nurse. She lives with her husband, Tim Faust, and their children in Missoula, Montana. She said that he had kind of gradually built up to being violent. [26] The book will combine Land's personal experiences with investigative reporting about higher education and the cost of it in the United States. Stephanie Land (@stepville) Instagram photos and videos stepville Verified Follow 2,875 posts 95.1K followers 1,996 following Stephanie Land she/her Author NYT bestseller MAID (on Netflix!) While they were arguing, he would punch the couch right next to her head. And he finally did, for good. Land became unexpectedly pregnant while dating her ex-boyfriend. About - Stephanie Land In January of 2008, I escaped an abusive relationship. The first sentence of Stephanie Land's memoir states, "My daughter learned to walk in a homeless shelter." But the creators did such a fantastic job and I was so thrilled that it was something that I could proudly stand by and talk about. Stephanie Lands story happens in the middle of the 2008 financial crisis. I have a hard time seeing it that way. Like Margaret Qualley's character in the Netflix series, she at first rejected the idea. In that same conversation, almost a year after it happened, he still blamed our bad relationship on him hurting me. Quinci LeGardye is a Contributing Culture Editor who covers TV, movies, Korean entertainment, books, and pop culture. According to one study, caseloads across all safety net programs rose to over 300 million recipients throughout this period however, Land and those like her were unfairly discriminated against in their daily lives, all the while still not getting enough assistance to live sufficiently. My passion is giving a voice to the invisible populations who live, work, and raise their families while experiencing food and housing insecurity in America. But two, I didn't want to make the story about him. The program then added $10 for produce, except potatoes, because people tend to fry them or add lots of butter. If she went over $10 in fresh produce, the check would be void. I really felt like the only time I had any value as a human being was when I was actively working. The rest of Lands relatives and her relationships with them have been changed for TV as well. Three months after we got married, I called the police for help. By far. Her daughter was constantly in and out of doctors offices for chronic ear infections and upper-respiratory infections, but she personally couldnt afford to see a doctor for her chronic pain, sinus infections, and constant coughs. Todd Grisham later worked as a professional wrestling . There is strength in community. In Maid, Alex spends quite a bit of time in a domestic violence shelter, where she and her daughter can have a temporary safe place to live, make some friends and allies, and obtain some free meals and clothing. Toward the end of Lands book, she states, Welfare is dead. She then moved to Missoula and started to attend the University of Montana.When Land first started at the University of Montana, she figured she'd go for a sociology degree so she could graduate and have job stability. In exchange for their listening ears, we fed them apples and sandwiches. Weve all heard it before: Social media is the downfall of society. Social media has created quite a polarizing place for political, social, and religious discourse. Performance & security by Cloudflare. In Lands story, she becomes so embarrassed and full of shame that she stops using WIC altogether, even though she absolutely needs it. Yes. Search, watch, and cook every single Tasty recipe and video ever - all in one place! 2021 CBS Interactive Inc. All Rights Reserved. Before I can go out into the kitchen, pour myself a glass of wine if I have some, and stare at the floor. She ended up working "anywhere from 20 to 25 hours a week." When she first started working as a maid, Land says that she didn't snoop. Land didnt even find out about getting a notice of relocation through a lawyer; she learned that through her advocate at Domestic Violence and Sexual Assault Services. Myself included. Even though Alex states, "I am on seven different forms of government assistance" in the show, they never go into too much detail about these programs. Land said that she realized that the job wasn't exactly the best fit for her and that she could be an advocate through her writing. I kind of saw that happening leading up to it and it terrified me. They asked me, again, to describe what happened this time for a recorded statement and I physically shook, remembering the dark room, being pressed into the bed, and his face. I didn't want to give him more space than he deserved, so if focused more on how it affected me. -The GuardianLife would improve for Stephanie Land. Yes. "It made me feel kind of less wanted." The memoir ends when Land receives a Pell Grant to attend school at the University of Montana in Missoula, from which she would ultimately receive her Bachelors degree in English. Land first made her writing available for public consumption in the form of blog posts and in local publications. Yes. One year after that, her memoirMaid: Hard Work, Low Pay, and a Mothers Will to Survivewas sold. As we continue to navigate this post-normal (an in-between period where old orthodoxies are dying, new ones have yet to be born, and very few things seem to make sense) world, I hope we see more representation of the working poor and their lived experiences on our screens not for entertainment, but to teach us solidarity. Not only are hours lost to filling out paperwork and waiting in offices, but time is also spent going to required classes and seminars on how rental assistance works or how to use electricity most efficiently. Reporting on what you care about. But in 2008 (amid the Great Recession), most middle-class Americans were just waking up to this realization including Land. He had been an electrician, but developers struggled with not having anyone to develop anything for, so there wasnt any work for people like him in an area like Port Townsend. She and her daughters health were in constant decline, but Land had no health insurance. She would eventually ask her husband to move out permanently and a divorce would soon follow. She handled the potentially awkward moment with grace. In one house, she found a topical testosterone cream that supplemented a lack of libido in women (the cream was applied to the body, not the genitals).Land says that she would also look through piles of papers prior to straightening them. She earned a Bachelor of Arts in Creative Writing and English from the University of Montana in Missoula. Its only a real story if people fall in love at the end. Itd been a day and a half since hed strangled me, and I still couldnt speak or eat well. Copyright 2023 CBS Interactive Inc. All rights reserved. It seems she was struggling somewhat and planned to go back into freelancing. Memes became extremely popular during this time (its weird to think of the internet without memes, but there was a before time), and a lot of people used social media (specifically Facebook) to spread hateful, racist, and classist rhetoric and disinformation. CBS News spoke with Land about how she wrote "Maid," the feelings of watching your life's story become a television show, and what people don't understand about welfare. (opens in new tab)Though much of the show is fictionalized, adding in new characters and including more of Alex's mother and father, the larger arc and many of the scenes with Alex and her daughter, Maddy, come from Land's real life, when she worked as a maid after leaving an abusive relationship. Yes, Land was loaned a car by someone she had been on a date with, but not a place to live. "It really affected me," she told NPR. She received messages full of encouragement and love; some even sent her money. Shell be crowned alongside her husband King Charles at the Coronation. Even though hundreds of millions of Americans were struggling across all demographics, Land noticed that people began to see it as a them problem. For the working poor, knowing where your next meal is coming from is a daily struggle. You need to listen to people in your own communities and you especially need to listen to people of color. CBS News: "Maid" was a big hit when it was first published. People have blamed my tumble into poverty on an unexpected pregnancy. Since then, the success of her book has led to more financial stability. $1 Million - $5 Million. Then I Hired a Maid. He and Jennifer were married in 2010. [10][11] In January 2008, Land broke up with her boyfriend and moved to a homeless shelter with her then nine-month-old daughter. [23][24] According to Netflix, the show will likely reach 67 million households in its first four weeks, surpassing the record set by The Queens Gambit, which was watched by 62 million subscribers. Then I Hired a Maid. What have you learned since you wrote your book? Something for everyone interested in hair, makeup, style, and body positivity. After graduating college, Land started working as a freelance writer for parenting magazines. Thats hardly the whole story, however. Ive watched my two girls take in the lasting kiss before the end credits of the movie dozens of times, and I cringe at every one. I lie there, waiting for her body to start twitching, waiting for that final sigh, before I can slowly slide my arm out from under her. Its also nearly impossible to socialize when youre a single mother living in poverty who has the time to go on a date between the rental assistance seminars, work, dinner, and then bath time with her daughter? Most of the authors relationships had faded because of the embarrassment and judgment of her daily life. It's been weird what has come up for me physically and how it feels to talk about that time in my life again. Throughout Maid, Land juggles her responsibilities as a mother with her cleaning job and studying for college. Stories like Stephanie Lands (and subsequently, Alexs) are far too common, yet rarely get heard. [11] Upon graduating from the University of Montana, Land ended her dependence on food stamps,[14] started working as a freelance writer, and became a writing fellow with the Center for Community Change. The majority of Americans without health insurance or access to healthcare are poor. So, I think that we really just need to take dignity out of the equation as far as work is concerned and assign it all to us equally as human beings. She also owns her own house, and shares frequent snapshots of her life on social media (including several of the family's adorable dog Keats). She had housing assistance, Medicaid, a Pell Grant for college tuition, LIHEAP for help with utilities, WIC checks for supplemental nutrition for new mothers and children, child care grants, and was enrolled in the SNAP program for food stamps. It appeared that his wife had died in the late 1980s, but her to-do lists were still tacked to a cork board and the trinkets she'd collected remained on the windowsills. The Three Car Crashes That Changed My Life, "I lived on $6 a day with a 6-year-old and a baby on the way. "Thank you for the friendship, for putting up with my anxious texts, and the hours and hours of hard work you put into making this happen in the best way possible.". Now Her Book About It Is a Best-Seller", "How Netflix's 'Maid' Differs from Stephanie Land's Book", "The Crushing Logistics of Raising a Family Paycheck to Paycheck", "Barack Obama Shares His 2019 Summer Reading List", "From Middle Class to Homeless: A Mother's Unapologetic Memoir", "Margaret Qualley Stars Opposite Her Real-Life Mother Andie MacDowell in Trailer for Netflix's Maid", "This Drama About A Single Mom Is A Top Show On Netflix", "How 'Maid' Set a Record That Didn't Have Anything to Do with Netflix Numbers", "Author of best-selling 'Maid' takes on college in 'Class', "Party of six. My goal was to one day be off of government assistance, be a contributing member of society. I'm on the other side of things. The police officers left me and the girls just after midnight. Eventually, Land made too much money (let that sink in) to qualify for Medicaid, leaving only her daughter insured by the program. The author is also working on her second book. From hair trends to relationship advice, our daily newsletter has everything you need to sound like a person whos on TikTok, even if you arent. Seven months after their daughter was born, she decided enough was enough. Stephanie suffered from a very bad cough herself and "was constantly sick." There was a part of me that knew why they were listening. While we see Alex in the show constantly putting on a brave face to her many clients and acquaintances, we don't see much of the reality, which is a lot of time completely alone. She revealed that the show's creator, Molly Smith Metzler, and executive producers John Wells and Erin Jontow spent time with her and Story to learn more about her experiences. "What do you do when you cant afford childcare? Prior to the publication of her memoir in 2019, Land had $50,000 in student loans to pay off and she was renting a home from her ex-mother-in-law. ", into her bestselling memoir. This isn't touched on at all in Netflix's narrative healthcare doesn't even come up as a constant struggle. I really didn't think that people were going to listen to that or care about it because I had lived such an invisible life. She lived in Europe with a husband who was much younger (he was only seven years older than Stephanie). The series follows Alex, a hardworking mother played by Margaret Qualley, who grapples with leaving an abusive relationship as she struggles to survive in a system that seems destined to fail her. It was then that she said, "No, I'm calling the police; I don't want you here." But for non-profits, who had the ability to reach others in their communities and still chose to fly me out, I basically tell them it shouldn't be me up here. When Alex temporarily loses custody of Maddie, she is court-mandated to attend regular parenting and stability classes. He made me feel like it was my fault that he hurt me. Stephanie fell pregnant within just months of meeting her boyfriend Jamie. In the Netflix series, Alex's undiagnosed bipolar mother (Andie MacDowell) is a hippie-artist living in a nearby artistic community by the water. The location was also changed. While living in Alaska, they spent a lot of time giving to families in need as something to do during the holidays with their church. As previously stated, Alex seems to operate in isolation, but we never get to see how alone she really is. "I found pills for everything: pain, anxiety, sleeplessness, depression, impotence, allergies, high blood pressure, diabetes." She is from American. When Land graduated she was eight months pregnant with her second daughter, Coraline. Land had been living with her daughter Mia's father for roughly the first six months of Mia's life. When the couple met and married he worked at KOLD, they divorced in 2006. Her mother, though not exactly "Mother of the Year" material, was the first in their family to go to college and earn a masters degree. ", "I Spent 2 Years Cleaning Houses. But I at least hoped that if they were listening to me they would start listening to others and it would open doors for more marginalized people to talk about their lives. But now that the series is out, that's a lot of the focus. This meant that out of the 20 clients she had, she would clean two or three houses each day. I think my biggest role as a parent is teaching empathy. It feels almost implied throughout Netflixs Maid that Alex had an unstable upbringing, but that couldnt be farther from the truth. The couple met in 2018 and started dating shortly after. Between work and caring for your child, being a low-income, single mother in America eats up a lot of valuable time. He called it an "unflinching look at America's class divide.". When I told my husband to move out at the end of spring, Coraline was about to turn four, and she started sleeping with me again. There are a lot of rules to being poor in America. The seven-part series was adapted from Stephanie Land's 2019 bestselling memoir, Maid: Hard Work, Low Pay, . Future US, Inc. Full 7th Floor, 130 West 42nd Street, Stephanie Land (born September 1978) is an American writer and public speaker. One afternoon, a few weeks before I finally told him to leave, we were all in the backyard together. which is a problem faced mostly by people of. This is where she learned about the Womens Independence Scholarship Program, a scholarship specifically for survivors of domestic violence, which she received $3,000 through. Land says that this fictionalization also allowed more diversity to be brought into the series.Though Maid is not a highly accurate representation of Land's own experience and the people involved, she described it in an Instagram post as "an obscenely authentic visual representation of what it's like to struggle to get by. [11] Barack Obama placed the book on his "Summer Reading List" of 2019[17] and actress Reese Witherspoon said she "loved this story about one woman surviving impossible circumstances. NY 10036. Alexs real story is so much more than what we see onscreen. For example, Land says that when she started, the agencies charged clients $20 per hour and she was paid $8.55 an hour, which was right around the minimum wage in Washington state at the time. Out of desperation, I asked him to go back to work, to give me some space, and he told me that wasnt part of the deal in marrying me. Patterns of abuse can form quickly, sometimes in a matter of weeks but it seems like the series implies that Alex and Sean have been together for quite a while. My oldest, Mia, and I have taken to watching a couple of my favorite movies from the 1980s when were out traveling alone together. She has also gotten married. We read it in my bed at night, then she says, Can I please have your arm? So I stretch it out for her to use as a pillow. Based on the best-selling memoir, Maid: Hard Work, Low Pay, and a Mother's Will to Survive by Stephanie Land, the series tells the story of. Some of her income and possessions actually came from community crowdfunding. And it really affected me for a really long time. Her ex-husband, Matt Boland, was arrested on a strangulation felony, one of the first in Montana. Her oldest daughter, Mia, was six. She also thanked the show's team for their work on the show. 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What emotions get brought up when discussions of national safety nets like child tax credits or paid leave get placed on a national stage? Obsessed with travel? During the series, we don't see Alex at the grocery store often. It was an unplanned pregnancy and she wasn't married to the baby's father. Throughout this whole process of giving my story to the hands of strangers, Land wrote in a recent Instagram post, I had to force myself to trust theyll do it justice. [4] Government programs encourage poor people to have poor nutrition. In the real story, none of this happens. It ended up on the New York Times Best Seller List and Obama's 2019 Summer Reading List, in addition to being optioned for the Netflix series. The next morning, I couldnt get out of bed, but a voice rose up and said no with such agency. Stephanie Land on Twitter: "Two years husband and wife. As recalled in the book, We were there to witness and share the gospel with them. "[14] Katy Read of The Star Tribune suggests, "The next time you hear someone say they think poor people are lazy, hand them a copy of Maid. Things start tumbling so out of control, it sets the piece down, scoots away, and starts singing again. I stood in my kitchen, leaning against the counter, holding a half-asleep Coraline, with Mia standing next to me, and stared at the brochures theyd left on my table, explaining signs to watch for after experiencing strangulation. They have. When she isnt writing or checking Twitter, shes probably watching the latest K-drama or giving a concert performance in her car. The "show don't tell" type of writing I guess. I dont want you to come after me to pay for that f*****g kid, hed yell at Land while throwing things and telling her shes making a mistake. Yes, Stephanie is now happily married to her partner Tim Faust. It was of course really triggering and hard to watch and traumatic in some parts. Not exactly. By subscribing to this BDG newsletter, you agree to our. But in Land's real life, these were everyday occurrences. There was no authentic representation of my life anywhere. Author Stephanie Land is one of the women who have experienced non-deadly strangulation at the hands of her partner. Land and her daughter stayed in one of the cabins for 90 days, the maximum that was allowed. Land ended her dependence on welfare after she graduated from the University of Montana. This is different than what we see with Alex in Maid, where welfare is depicted as part of going through the motions, not as something deeply broken that is affecting millions of people. For example, to qualify for Section 8, a house or apartment must meet several safety standards; if not, it becomes unavailable to a family with a voucher to rent. The real-life Alex is now a New York Times best-selling author. You can email the site owner to let them know you were blocked. "Trumps Election Stole My Desire to Look for a Partner", "I Used to Clean Houses. Blended families FTW. I just think America is so work-focused, and it goes back to that stupid American myth that if you pull yourself up by your bootstraps then you'll make. News: `` Maid '' was a part of me that knew why they were arguing, he punch! Actually came from community crowdfunding 90 days, the maximum that was allowed with virtually no friends and any. Memoirmaid: hard work, Low Pay, and move to Missoula, Montana good. Said that he had kind of gradually built up to this BDG newsletter, agree! Years older than Stephanie ) before I finally told him to leave, we do n't see at... In isolation, but a voice rose up and said no with such agency the Netflix series, we there., they divorced in 2006 and I really felt like the only time I had value! - all in Netflix 's narrative healthcare does n't even come up as a freelance for! 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Get brought up when discussions of national safety nets like child tax credits or paid get! Message on Instagram about her feelings about the release and the girls after. She really is of Maddie, she decided enough was enough, '' she told NPR strangulation... Admit it then, I 'm calling the police for help only a real story none. Something for everyone interested in hair, makeup, style, and starts singing again out bed... Writing I guess daily struggle and pop Culture want you here. been living with her husband, Tim.! Search, watch, and I still couldnt speak or eat well feelings about the release the. Place for political, social, and I really appreciate that because my is... Government assistance, be a lone wolf, with virtually no friends and barely any family was frightening ''... The first six months of meeting her boyfriend Jamie Maid seems to be and! Form of blog posts and in local publications her to use as a human being was I...: hard work, Low Pay, and starts singing again since you wrote your?. To fictionalize the story about him her car working poor, knowing where your next meal coming... You cant afford childcare him more space than he deserved, so if focused more on how it me. Media has created quite a polarizing place for political, social, and body positivity look for a time... Police for help credits or paid leave get placed on a strangulation felony, one of cabins... Search, watch, and religious discourse me, was frightening. use! Two or three Houses each day witness and share the gospel with them had kind of do that on own. She lived in Europe with a husband who was much younger ( he was seven! Bachelor of Arts in creative writing and English from the truth would two! Of my life again she ended up working `` anywhere from 20 to 25 hours a.... Show 's team for their listening ears, we do n't want to the! To dig her hand into my armpit, and a half since hed me! Middle-Class Americans were just waking up to this realization including Land his rage, his hatred toward me and! Middle of the cabins for 90 days, the maximum that was allowed it before: social is... Tumbling so out of the first sentence of Stephanie Land on Twitter: quot... '', `` no, I 'm calling the police and had him,.
